Haiku Chat 7 ~ Many Frogs or One Frog?
Date: June 15 2006
Topic: this haiku.
midnight frogs croak~
a distant train empties
itself into silence
[N] midnight frogs' croak~ / a distant train empties / itself into silence
[N] Any changes?
[S] I prefer one frog
[N] Okay
[N] Yes it is better
[N] Is "itself" necessary ?
[S] Yes it is
[N] Yes so I thought
[S] It is the specialty of the haiku
[N] Yes
[N] It makes sound visible tapering into silence
[S] Yes exactly
[S] Actually many frogs seems smoother somehow
[N] It is all sound invoked
[N] Yes
[S] I am not sure
[N] I thought so too
[N] Nor am I
[N] So I asked u
[S] I think many is better
[N] I think it is more natural
[S] Yes, that's it
[N] midnight frogs' croak~ / a distant train empties / itself into silence
[S] Very good
[N] Thank you
[N] So a haiku
...
[N] Our school is rhythmic
[S] Yes, true
[N] There is a pause after "train" when you read
[S] Yes
[S] "train" is nasal tapering ~ e starts again
[N] Yes ~ wow
[S] Our haiku come with deep structure
[N] Yes
[S] Yours especially are like mantrams
[N] Are they thank you ~ you have observed deeply
[S] Also after "itself", it becomes more and more silent and ends in silence
[N] Yes
[N] You see, we chose many frogs for the mantram quality of the whole
[N] It has chandas
[N] It is my familiarity with Sanskrit mantrams and Sri Auro's Savitri
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